+:.an angel's diary.:+

church signs.

2007-09-27T16:38:00.000+08:00

yeah..! you tell 'em, God!

what every girl needs.

2007-03-12T23:23:00.000+08:00

for those who have asked me how i manage to keep a hot white guy like him around (and for those who quietly wonder), here is my secret, for the world to see.--it works on asians too. (:

escape artists never die.

2007-02-07T14:59:00.000+08:00

sneak attack.

2007-02-02T23:00:00.000+08:00

my mom really should inform me before putting strange people into bed.being hungover on tears, i slept the entire day away--well, whatever of the day that wasn't spent sobbing or moping or doing the necessary.so im snoring in bed, having weird dreams about disappearing boyfriends, biochemical attacks and cat hybrids that do wicca (don't ask) and i drift back into the realm of the living when my

come back, those sweet 14 days of heaven.

2007-02-01T23:09:00.000+08:00

so the 2 weeks has ended.just that same old emptiness. no more waking up and feeling like im still living a perfect dream. now i know what it feels like to see everything in 14-bit color but still feel like youre living in a world of grey. when you left, the sun set for me, and the sun will only rise on us again in one and a half years. small words on paper but it seems like an eternity.till

2006-12-11T22:13:00.000+08:00

and if my cat looks scaredits because it knowsit won't be going to heavenoh oh oh ohnot going to heavenif you ask how many saints it takesthe answer's elevenoh oh oh ohit's gonna take elevenman oh manwhat's a guy got in his handit's an eggit's a spoonit's a snapshot of a moonit's a coffee perculator goingWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.me oh myyy-chaelangelo and iwere just sitting by the train

more than i should get..

2006-11-28T22:06:00.000+08:00

i dont know what i did to deserve this.but whatever it is..im glad i did it.<3 ..

you give love a bad name.

2006-10-28T11:14:00.000+08:00

.. Could you whisper in my ear/The things you wanna feel/I'll give you anything/To feel it comin'/Do you wake up on your own/And wonder where you are/You live with all your faults/Chorus: I wanna wake up where you are/I won't say anything at all/So why don't you slide/Yeah we're gonna let it, slide../Don't you love the life you killed/The priest is on the phone/Your father hit the wall/Your ma

poem.

2006-08-14T04:47:00.000+08:00

(evidently, at 5am i am too tired to think of a cool blog title.)out of all the sorrows that fall uncalled for from above,and if he could choose but one,it would be the pain he feelsin her phantom armswhen he knows her love.so far away, and yet so closeher love cures all his hurt,and how; this love, this distance--throws him to his knees in the dirt;to fall before the rose.barely hidden among the

meet-weird-people day.

2006-08-10T11:39:00.000+08:00

i realise the last post was kind of emo.but now that i'm in a better mood i'll update on the shiny happy stuff.was on my way to school after waking up an hour late or so (again).i guess it was meet-weird-people day because a few stops after i got on, these two freakin' gay chicks came on.i say gay chicks because they aren't exactly chicks.like urgh.not that i'm some homophobe.but being female, it

old, broken sneakers.

2006-08-08T01:59:00.000+08:00

its raining outside my window right now.pretty heavily.after tonight it feels like everything was broken, under virtual covers.the perfect dream of everything being alright, picked apart into nothing.reality check.the flowers on my table seem dead, fading.your words today that i would've killed to hear any other day now just seem like lies. i dont even want to look at them again.your words before

an example of contradiction.

2006-08-04T20:10:00.000+08:00

(previous post below) POST EDIT:im starting to wonder if this post was just to let off some steam over the end of us.i have to lay the ghost of you to rest, john.i can't stay here like this any longer.and i have to find a way to let out all the hurt.i've never said really what i felt because i didn't want to hurt you, or make you mad.--looking at this post, i guess i never will.and i sort of

the things i'll do for hate.

2006-08-04T12:35:00.000+08:00

i.hate.homework.i hate, i hate, i hate homework.i hate it with so much undying passion i'd tie it up and ram it up the arse nice and rough and so hard that it will not be able to sit down for a month and walk properly for a year.i also hate certain PEOPLE who do not identify themselves properly on my tagboard.im not gonna say who.SOMEbody.[somebody gonna get hurt real bad ha ha ha. okay, not

getting away with murder.

2006-08-04T01:40:00.000+08:00

disclaimer: in no way am i promoting the use of dried half-rotten tobacco leaves. smoking kills. i don't care about that, but maybe you should.my school is 50 football fields big.and the whole damn place, almost, is a smoke-free zone.a 150-buck fine if you're caught.so what does one do when you need a hit really, really bad?do it the back-door way.literally.just out the back gate is the

screamyourheartout.

2006-08-01T13:13:00.000+08:00

"to kill the whitest-looking dove; to hate everything i love."ever felt so fucking roiled-up inside, if someone gave you a gun you'd just go out on the street and shoot down everyone who passed by you?assuming you don't run out of ammo.i need to kill something.i need to see blood and lots of it, someone else's. all over my shirt.i need to crush a life, break a heart and feel good about it.i need

erotic humor?

2006-07-31T22:05:00.000+08:00

have you ever tried drinking a glass of really cold water and simultaneously downing a gulp of really hot hot chocolate?it gives you this weird strange high for a second.people have said weird things about me.but andy takes the cake for this.**here's a bit of the chatlog.andyradich: I love your sense of humorwhiterose88: erm, it was funny?andyradich: in a erotic kinda way :p ... I wonder what

2006-07-13T17:24:00.000+08:00

first, name 20 people you think of now before answering the questions below.1. andy2. peter3. john4. ken5. jody6. jingyi7. abigail8. ivan9. shawn loh10. nicholas11. hasnani12. felicia13. sebastian14. yiming15. yeeting16. mat17. jerome18. jordan19. jonathan20. dave.When did you meet 14?in class, Singapore Poly.What will you do if you never met 1 before ?go on with my life the way it was supposed

2006-07-11T00:48:00.000+08:00

to cut. or not to cut. to cut. or not to cut.so much voices in your head.so little time.i can hear you calling, love,black light softly glowing,through the torrent in the dark--through the voices in my head,all the lies that they have said,your cold hands grip my heart.your promise of freedom, loveis freedom to soar in chains--this deathwish with broken wings, to fly--vertically downward in

2006-07-08T20:56:00.000+08:00

Quiz: Is Long Distance Romance for You? Your Results You can handle it, but you don't like it very much.Okay, so you prefer your guy closer to home. You like a hand to hold, another mind to bounce things off of, and somebody to cook for you -- or, at least, with you. But that's not happening right now, so you're trying to look on the bright side.You love the walloping high of reunions with your

2006-06-28T23:13:00.000+08:00

The sky has lost it's colorThe sun has turned to gray--At least that's how it feels to meWhenever you're away.I crawl up in the cornerAs I watch the minutes pass,Each one brings me closer toThe time you're coming back.I can't take the distance,I can't take the miles,I can't take the time until I next see you smile.I can't take the distance,And I'm not ashamedThat with every breath I take I'm

2006-06-22T18:41:00.000+08:00

this was born out of the doubled genius of me.with a large dose of boredom.egging on from brian.and a rather unappropriate topic.i have to beat his poem, man.in the blackness of your feelingshow red the rivers rundrawn from your wrist,silk silent screamslet darkness overcomefrom sorrow to pain to metaland rush of sweet releasefeel your soul melt,rip your canvaslet these chains set you

2006-06-07T21:37:00.000+08:00

i had a WTF moment today.this enlightening moment, friends, is when something is so random or stupid that it happens to momentarily kill your vocabulary and all you can think is WTF, mate.Brian alllmost impressed me on msn with his poetry skills today.Brian: fill my jolly cup with gloomyour progressionmy digressionforty days this afternoonthe things we cherishare small indeedso much the larger

2006-06-06T18:01:00.000+08:00

weeehehehehehehehehehehee.^^that's all i can manage to say right now.

2006-05-25T21:34:00.000+08:00

i refuse to leave on that morbid note.despite the setbacks there have been good distractions.and i'd better get down to this before the pain sets in and i get depressed.don't think me insensitive.this is how i deal.now, onto shamelessly posting pictures.as they say, one digital image is worth a thousand words. the team.an open invitation for larissa to come kill me.candy, jia yan, shan hu, meand

2006-05-25T20:30:00.000+08:00

distractions are more than welcome these days.mixed feelings, and life is going too fast for me to catch it.it's crazy how fast death can come.how soon, and how unexpected.two similar accidents, two different endings.i don't think i'll ever understand.and this wasn't the distraction i was hoping for.here yesterday, and now gone. just like grass in the field, clouds up in the sky, forever

2006-05-13T12:01:00.000+08:00

[you know who you are. this is for you.]i've got news for all those people out there who think they'e smarter than everyone else--you're not.im not saying you're a retard. im sure you have your decent share of intelligence, and im sure your skull does contain a reasonable amount of grey and white matter.but just because you do have that, it doesn't place you one rung higher on the evolutional or

2006-04-19T18:38:00.000+08:00

i'm sleeping my way out of this one with everyone who will lie down.and i'll be stuck fixated on one star as my whole world crashes.the only thing worse than not knowing is you thinking that i don't know.i'm having another episode-- i just need a stronger dose.i keep telling myself i'm not the desperate type, but you got me looking through the blinds.and i'm sitting out dances on the wall, trying

2006-04-16T16:03:00.000+08:00

yay, school tomorrow.im so looking forward to it.NOT.gah, memories.as if my own home isn't enough; that place is chock-full of happy memories.i don't think i can handle this.i'll probably break down sobbing in the middle of a microstation drawing.--and to think that 2 months ago, i was raring for school to start.now i never want to hear that damned word again.ever.this sadness isn't the normal

2006-04-14T13:31:00.000+08:00

you can't avoid the inevitable.what if you're like cigarettes; an addiction that i got to kick?well--what if you really are like cigarettes?i can kick you.i just don't want to.love is an angel who lifts you up in his wings to fly by piercing your heart with arrows and dangling you on it. the higher you fly, the more gravity pulls, the more it rips you and the more it becomes a damned long way to

2006-04-11T19:07:00.000+08:00

two dumb cats are getting their rocks off outside my window for about 20 minutes now.meh, real great background noise for blogging."miiiiaaaao.MIIIIAAARRROOWWAARR.miiiiaaOOOWWrrr. meeeeeeeeOREeeeeerrWAR.MREEEEEEOAWARARRRR.mreEEEEeeeEEEEaaaaAAAAAAWWrrrrrrrROAWR."at least that's how it sounds, phonetically. with slight variations in pitch and a bit of complaining and scratching from the female

2006-04-02T21:02:00.000+08:00

john's been typing a lot of intellectual stuff lately.and seriously, sometimes one needs an effing dictionary to read a single post. bleah. maybe he should add a link to dictionary dot com, or something.anyway im feeling the pressure. [weird for a slacker, i know. lol.]so here's my intellectual word for today.RECTIFY (RACK-tee-fie)--to fix whatever shit that's broken or screwed up. spoken word

2006-03-29T21:52:00.000+08:00

i remember the first time i saw you.i fell in love with you; and i was in love with the guy who gave me you.and when i held you in my hands and we fussed over you, sort of bullied you--i'm sorry for all that.thanks for putting up with me.i know im not the best.remember how him and me matchmade you with your girlfriend, speedy, that you never met?i bet she misses you.i know i do.if there's one

2006-03-20T15:49:00.000+08:00

places that i can never go to again without crying [at least not in a long time]:1. esplanade.2. certain spots along pasir ris beach.3. a certain spot at east coast beach.4. west mall.5. jurong point.6. school. [great.. ]7. water tower in school.8. library in school.9. w5A in school.10. novena mall.11. the back of harbourfront mall.12. the HDB blocks near west mall.13. the HDB blocks at near

2006-03-18T11:32:00.000+08:00

1 month, 3 days since you killed me.or did you even notice; do you even care?bet you never even shed a tear. oh yeah, that's right--why would you?you don't love me anymore.you don't give a shit.sorry, i forget about that every time you kiss me now.still, i dont want those moments to stop.what else have i to go on?i need you, that much is certain. happy belated breakup anniversary.it could have

2006-02-28T16:02:00.000+08:00

i feel so mixed right now.like black forest chocolates and prawn crackers in a fruit bowl.just, out of place in me.all those mixed emotions.its like a mint ice cream root beer float.[yes, i'm hungry.]sometimes, i just feel like screaming at you.how could you do this?seriously, how could you?it's not like i can't take it.i was born a fighter.i had my share of pain--but you missed most of

2006-02-17T08:18:00.000+08:00

friends, kristy gammell died on the 15th of February, after having truly lived for a short but wonderful 7 1/2 months. if you miss me--tell him to bring me back to life.we've practised a lot, and he knows how.tell him to save me from the fire.it's angry, it hates me and it's burning me up.the same fire that once burned with love for me.i don't want to stay in this hell.tell him to rescue me, like

2006-01-13T12:25:00.000+08:00

i've never been more grateful to talk to a so-called jerk.talking with zh last night made me realise more things about me than to help him find a solution to his problem. [although yeah, i guess we sort of sort it. i think.]thanks, dude.(: never before has a jerk actually made me grateful for a boyfriend like mine.last night made me realise how rare guys like john are nowadays--and how lucky i am

2006-01-10T21:02:00.000+08:00

went shopping that day.i hate shopping.for an organizer.i hate organizers. well in the end it turned out i didn't get one cause' all they had was shitty coloured, large ones big and thick enough to knock someone's lights out if you whammed them hard enough with it. so why am i blogging about some shitty, uneventful shopping trip for organizers, of all things?good question.i dont know.i dont

2006-01-01T03:17:00.000+08:00

[[how to be perfect.]]i'll trade my soul for your black and white photograph.i'll be her till i fade.and soon, this picture won't be enough.you don't know what the hell i want--and i know you don't want me.cut me out;i'll be your black and white paper doll.give me a minute--i'm chaining myself to the wall.sew up my mouthignore the bloodbecause it doesn't hurt at all.when im trapped ini can tell

2005-12-29T00:30:00.000+08:00

sweetheart, it feels like i haven't seen you in forever.hai.):To see you when I wake upIs a gift I didn’t think could be real.To know that you feel the same as I doIs a three-fold, utopian dream.You do something to me that I can’t explain.So would I be out of line if I said,I miss you?I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.You have only been gone ten days, but

2005-12-19T14:00:00.000+08:00

bah.bloody e-learning week.the server's moving so damn slow.a handicapped snail on a plate of salt would move faster.i thought secondary school was the end of all cyberweeks.moral of the story;not to count my chickens before they hatch. there's SO much work.of which i'm totally clueless about.oblique drawings?with FURNITURE in it?is the end of the world here yet?-sigh. and microstation.and

2005-12-15T14:07:00.000+08:00

There's a lotta girlsWho know they got it going onWhat they got ain't no comparison to youNow can't you see that you the only one I really wantAnd all the fucks I'll ever getAre all given by you?Any girl walk by, don't matterThough their skirts are so much shorterDon't ever get your zipperCaught up in jealousyThough she's a supermodelThough I fantasize about herShe'd never ever think of sleeping

2005-11-28T21:27:00.000+08:00

john bought me a TERRAPIN!hahaa.and its so tiny.so cute.only about.. an inch all round? though a few years down i don't think it'll be cute anymore.it'll be fat, mean and ugly. though it's already mean now.mean and anti-social.bah.the female i bought for john was so much nicer.this one just sits with his back to you.doesn't let you hold him properly.he takes ages to wake up and only does to give

2005-11-27T20:28:00.000+08:00

ahh, finally.the weekend to stretch out and relax.for once, two whole days with time enough to slack. no doubt in a few hours i'll be scratching my head in front of a school computer, fiddling with Autocad or the like.that's why im living it up by herding electronic sheep into an electronic pen on miniclip.com now.great life, no? i know i haven't updated in eons.my latest projects kept me busy.6

2005-11-01T15:17:00.000+08:00

You only hold me up like this'Cause you don't know who I really am.Sometimes I just want to know what it's like to be you.We're making out inside crashed cars;We're sleeping through all our memories.I used to waste my time dreaming of being alive,Now I only waste it dreaming of you.Turn off the lights and turn off the shyness,'Cause all of our moves make up for the silence.And oh, the way your

2005-10-29T22:46:00.000+08:00

played basketball today with karjun, sam, vinny, dex, and a few other guys.mostly karjun, sam and dex.now im totally shagged out.i haven't sweated so much in weeks.i haven't played basketball in months.but it feels good.and i managed to sink a decent number of shots; i guess i haven't lost it.(:went around stealing food from the other cells who were standing around barbecueing.though i shouldn't

2005-10-27T18:06:00.000+08:00

i just went to get my hair done.what a ripoff; 35 bucks for one miserable light blonde streak down the front.and my hair isn't even long.-sigh.there goes my allowance. i miss john.he went to malaysia today with his dad and [yuck] mom. things only seem to be getting worse.so when is this shit going to end?someone please shake me hard so i can wake up from this.only a few days away, and things

2005-10-23T16:42:00.000+08:00

yay.new skin.made it because he calls me his pussycat.and also because i just like the layout.never thought the red could actually suit-- it looks too blinding at first.grows on you after a while too. and i think it really suits my personality.(:hahaa. bold, outstanding and almost too in-your-face to stand.anyway.just a short update.school's starting in a week.i have a headache and a flu.i miss

2005-10-20T22:18:00.000+08:00

somewhere out there,beneath the pale blue night,someone's thinking of me, and loving me tonight.somewhere out there,someone's saying a prayer, then we'll find one another,in that big somewhere out there. and even though i know how very far apart we are, it helps to think we might be wishing on the same bright star;and when the night wind starts to sing a lonesome lullaby,it helps to think we're

2005-10-04T23:55:00.000+08:00

never in forever i dreamed this would happen.the worst thing, it's not us that's tearing us apart.and there's nothing we can do to stop it. but we can hold on.i will.i'll ride this out, somehow.as long as we keep trying, keep waiting, keep holding on...we'll be okay. i know i can't be with you now.i know i can't hold you, or even just be next to you to give you something to hold on to.but you

2005-09-27T22:03:00.000+08:00

at the request of the millions of adoring fans i have begging me to update--here it is.okay actually just one, and barely adoring.but whatever rocks my boat.im sorry that i havent updated in ages.--don't eat me! -cowers.lots of stuff has been going on.lotslotslots. went to malacca for a study trip--and that primer was hell.i mean, the first time i REEEEALLY work my ass off, and during our

2005-09-06T00:05:00.000+08:00

i wrote this poem just for john.hahaa.he made this birthday extra special.thanks for everything you did for me today--don't ever say it was sub-standard.it was perfect.i love you. [[light the candle for me; the sky's almost bright.i want to be with you before breaking light.i'll die a little more by the end of tonight--don't let it be too late for forever.take my hand before tomorrow;i'll teach

2005-07-31T15:38:00.000+08:00

another boring sunday.filled with boring homework.and my mom is being a bitch--not that it's something out of the ordinary. you'd think i'd be used to it by now.--i'm actually looking forward to school.well, not really, but looking forward to it more because 1) it means this shitty day is over, 2) i [alias, the pigeon] don't have to sit at home [alias, firing range] and get yelled [alias,

2005-07-21T14:22:00.000+08:00

:( She slams the front doorCause she knows that I can't stand itGives me the fingerCause she knows I'm wrapped around itShe calls me sweetheartCause she knows it makes me weakShe stepped in dog pooAnd I'm still kissing her feetCan you believe how this girl treats me like a king?She took more than she gave to meI gave my love, I got an STDIf she comes home, I hope that she'll marry meI wanna tell

2005-07-18T16:54:00.000+08:00

kristy can no longer telekinetically type with her amazingly powerful telekinetic powers of the mind because she has frozen, turned black and dropped off her chair due to extreme hypothermia.and john has still not arrived.

2005-07-18T16:53:00.000+08:00

kristy can no longer type because her fingers have frozen, turned black and dropped off from frostbite.so she is sitting in front of her computer, stoning at it and typing by using her amazingly powerful telekinetic powers of the mind.

2005-07-18T16:52:00.000+08:00

kristy can no longer twiddle her toes because they have frozen, turned black and dropped off due to frostbite.so kristy has to entertain herself by typing stupid, lame posts on blogger.

2005-07-18T16:49:00.000+08:00

kristy has gotten bored of twiddling her thumbs.kristy has now switched to twiddling her toes.kristy has given up on thinking of ways to murder john because she is suffering from brainfreeze resulting from exceedingly low temperatures.

2005-07-18T16:42:00.000+08:00

kristy is bored.kristy is sitting in her studio freezing to death while it's raining outside.kristy is very bored.kristy's classes have ended at 3.kristy could have gone home at 3 but kristy has been waiting in a freezing studio for the past two hours.kristy would like to be at home under her warm cozy blankets sleeping but she has to wait for john.and kristy is very very bored.kristy is only

2005-07-16T10:39:00.000+08:00

i look behind me from time to time to see how far i've come--and everytime i look back; inevitably, i see you.i see everything we went through together.i see how far we came together.i remember all the times we had; i have only good memories of you. i've already forgotten the bad.sometimes i miss the past.but i'd never trade it for my present. there's so much i don't understand; but someday we

2005-07-15T11:38:00.000+08:00

haven't updated in forever.seeing as i have two hours on my hands because i woke up at 6am to reach school at 8am for a class that got cancelled last minute; [grrr.] i'll sit here in front of my computer and complain and complain and complain.i've drank 3 cups of coffee in the 1 hour i've been here and i'm still not awake.my project is going slow and we are NOT gonna make it on time.i've been

2005-07-06T08:56:00.000+08:00

you cried.right in front of me.i can't forget what you said yesterday. "things like how uncertain our future is; how we gonna get to uni overseas, what we gonna be when we grow up. but i just thought, whatever it is, i wanna spend it with you...and i...well...i cried." "they were tears of gladness. because i knew i got you to spend my future with...well...and i saw you beside me and it kinda set

2005-07-04T10:46:00.000+08:00

i can't believe my parents actually allowed it.like, wow.but they said they don't think we can stay together--we've got to prove them wrong.you promised me you'd stay.promises can be broken, and if you break yours, i won't be surprised.but i trust you. so take what you need, because i can't hold my breath. and say what you feel, because i got nothing left....i made a promise to myself last night.

2005-06-30T19:41:00.000+08:00

this will be an extremely short post. fuck love.

2005-06-22T21:06:00.000+08:00

god.finally. i actually have the end of the day all to myself.to play.with no primers.no assignments.no school stuff.nope.nada.zip. YAY!muahahahaa--long have i waited for this moment; dark have been my days, long the hours--NO HOMEWORK TODAYY!whoohoo.happy. finally finished primer 1.got pretty good comments for the presentation from the panel, considering that almost everyone got mercilessly shot

2005-06-14T19:32:00.000+08:00

i'm coming out of my cage,and i've been doing just fine.gotta--gotta be down because i want it all.it started out with a kiss,how did it end up like this?it was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.now she's falling asleepand she's calling a cabwhile he's having a smokeand she's taking a dragnow they're going to bed,and my stomach is sickand it's all in my head butshe's touching his chestnow; he takes

2005-06-14T18:36:00.000+08:00

stole this off ivan's web--thanks, babe (:Congratulations Kristy, you are... 'Xia Xue' Wendy Cheng of xiaxue.blogspot.comYou are a goddess/god. You've got the looks, the brains and the body. You have such an irreverent sense of humour, people listen to you religiously and worship the ground you walk on. On the other hand you can also be straightforward, blunt and very very controversial. That has

2005-06-13T20:53:00.000+08:00

it's been an amazing week that's gone past.another milestone.can i hear it for CHURCH CAAAAMP?! whoohoo...!okay, so last year's was much better; but something really special happened during this one.wait for it; waaait for it...so, how do you keep an idiot in suspense?--i'll tell you tomorrow (:haa. ok i'll stop dragging.i got slain this church camp during Holy Spirit Night.it might'nt seem like

2005-06-07T18:40:00.000+08:00

there's only one word for how i'm feeling.lost.stuck in a void and yet there's nowhere left to turn; cornered on all sides.someone, please, tell me this isn't happening.this isn't happening...i don't want to cry.it's only a sign of weakness.but cry is all i can do--i feel so helpless. and i hate it.it really hurts...all alone.i don't want to try looking for a saviour; there's no one who can save

2005-06-05T18:08:00.000+08:00

was just rooting through my archives.wouldn't have ever dreamed of doing it, till penanggg did and told me his take on my chronicled life.so i decided to see what's so fascinating about colorful languagesand senseless rantings.i came across this--"29.2.04 GOD HELP ME.im in a mess here.send someone who understands me like You do so they can help me to understand myself. "i'd forgotten about that

2005-06-04T16:50:00.000+08:00

this is just a notice.actual blog entry is below this one. fallen sick.again.with a really bad cold this time, and a bit of a temperature.uhhh.this sucks. anyway, this is just an announcement to inform you all that by monday, 6th june, my blog URL will be changed to http://www.spazz-dysfuncktional.blogspot.comso those nice people who linked me to your blogs--please make the changes yeah? thanks

2005-06-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

every long lost dreamled me to where you are.others who broke my heartthey were like northern stars,pointing me on my wayinto your loving arms.this much i know is true--that God blessed the broken roadthat led me straight to you. --from blessed the broken road; rascal flatts. this week rocked.well; sort of anyway.had this orientation project where we were supposed to bring out something like, the

2005-05-30T19:53:00.000+08:00

pretty good day today, other than the fact that i took a sedative last night and the effects hadn't worn off when i woke up--in fact they still haven't worn off and my eyes still have a problem trying to focus in one place.had to drag myself outta bed and try to find an incentive for going to school.unfortunately there is none; and there is a serious lack of cute guys in my class; in fact, in the

2005-05-28T18:37:00.000+08:00

if you never get close to someone, you'll never get hurt.but you'll always be alone.if you never trust, you'll never be betrayed.but you'll never have anyone to carry your burdens.it's a hard choice; always a toss-up between staying safe and never winning anything, or taking a risk and maybe losing everything. truth, and lies.it's an irony.we call this the truth, and we believe it, we build hopes

2005-05-23T19:11:00.000+08:00

it is precisely 1913h.which leaves me with roughly like...hm.less than a day to my first day of school.unofficially.but SCHOOL!damn, the longest holiday that i will ever know [unless i never get employed] is over....i can't believe im going back to school.i will never, ever wear uniforms again [unless i join the army].i'll have to stand in front of the wardrobe choosing what to wear every morning

2005-05-15T16:27:00.000+08:00

just read this off a web, and i thought it's really good.so i posted it here for y'all to read. [and just so i won't lose it somewhere.]it's pretty long, but worth it. Adapted from Mary Schmich's Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen).If there's one true piece of advice I could ever give out to anybody, it would be this:Wear sunscreen.Trust me, if you don't, you'll be sorry. Why is that the only

2005-05-10T20:48:00.000+08:00

i miss you.somehow it just feels like you're pulling away, running away from me...you don't know how much that hurts. physical wounds, no matter how serious, with the right methods, the right medicine and time, can be healed and forgotten.but the wounds of the heart--sometimes, no method, no medicine and no amount of time can ever heal it.and it'll always be an ugly scar on the face of my past,

2005-05-08T17:34:00.000+08:00

this is going to be a thank-you post.so if you're not interested, skip and read the one below.fresh off the press [well almost larh], nostalgic and reflective.lol.okay, here we go.not in any order whatsoever. so don't be jealous. hiaks. God..! you are the bestest bestest daddy, brother, friend, King and boyfriend i ever had..! thank you for everything Lord. i love you i love you i love you. -

2005-05-07T18:46:00.000+08:00

looking out from here, the future is pretty unclear.not that i worry about it; i guess i've never been one to worry about what life will throw at me tomorrow.but the future is a pretty low-grade, foggy crystal ball to gaze at.it's not that i don't have a basic plan.though there's what i want to do, and what i can do.what i want to do--get into poly, hook up with enough talented people to form a

2005-05-05T21:25:00.000+08:00

i'll sew this up with threads of reason and regret so i will not forget...i will not forget how this felt one year six months ago.i know i cannot forget.i can tell that you don't know me anymore.it's easy to forget.sometimes...we just forget.being on this road is anything but sure...maybe we'll forget?--i hope we don't forget.i'm falling into memories of you; things we used to do... follow me

2005-05-02T21:45:00.000+08:00

i got this while browsing the web. it's pretty cliched, but at the same time very true, i think."Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not

2005-05-01T18:49:00.000+08:00

im still trying.haa.so far, i've tried sabox.com, streamload.com, ripway.com, kytec.com and a lot of shabby sites in between.none work.-snarl.i need something like boomspeed but now i need to pay to use it so yeah, that one's out.argh, this is irritating.i really need help with this so...yeah, be nice people and give ideas aiight?(:haa.okay i'll stop nagging.

2005-05-01T18:19:00.000+08:00

yay.new skin.had a bit of help with this one though.it's not as fancy as the last one, but i need a change.and i think simple is nice.i still kept the click-to-nav thing though. now i just need a file hosting service that can host mp3s for me so i can load the song i want into the blog, instead of this current one.i can't use the scripting for this one because it came with the layout script.and

2005-04-29T14:55:00.000+08:00

love isn't just a candle; it can ignite the stars.--but if love can ignite the stars, it'll light the sky on fire.im watching it burn eternity into dust.it isn't easy.not that anyone ever said it would be.but i know what i have to do, so fight on.walking a thousand miles won't seem so hard if i just concentrate on putting on foot in front of the other.step by step; i'll get there. i know i

2005-04-27T21:25:00.000+08:00

was supposed to go kayaking with grace and ivan tomorrow?but it got cancelled, last minute.-sobs.ohh well. grace promised me a raincheck on that, so i guess it's not so bad.still...-sobs.-pause.-*hysterical crying.*anyway, here's part two of Doppelganger. hope y'all like it.Doppelganger [Part Two]Kaori flung herself at the door in a rage, beating it with her fists, kicking it, pushing, pulling,

2005-04-25T21:15:00.000+08:00

wrote this for part of a story that i'm trying [Note: TRYING] to write.it's not all there yet, but so far i've gotten as far as part three of Doppelganger. that's not the real name, just a title for this part of the story, since it's about a Kaori's doppelganger.and it's set in like futuristic but socially medival times, just in case you're wondering why the people use weird things like swords

2005-04-24T18:16:00.000+08:00

just finished watching the show "the 5 people you meet in heaven".it's an amazing show.originally from a book, and the author's head must really have exploded trying to fit everything together.it's about how you meet 5 people in heaven who explain your life to you, and why everything had to happen the way it did, and help you understand what you never understood in life.and each of them had an

2005-04-20T22:05:00.000+08:00

...this still hurts.owtch.

2005-04-20T20:11:00.000+08:00

i swiped this off my friend's blog. [hee. thanks ivan. ^^]it's not the whole thing, but mostly what really hit me."People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime.When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly.They have come to assist you through a

2005-04-17T16:34:00.000+08:00

when i'm all alonehere; chasing clouds across the skylooking up at eternitywatching the world go byi wish you were still here; i realisei miss you.i still need you by my side--i miss you. i wish i'd died at the waterfallswhen i dream of you, i cryi really tried but i can't move on at allso i'll let love pass me by--we said someday, together, we'd watch the starsnow it doesn't look like we'll ever

2005-04-12T14:59:00.000+08:00

if we had met in a different time, in a different place, we could have been; we could have stayed together.if circumstances were different, things would have turned out better for us.it would have worked out....do you believe that it's possible to meet the right person, at the wrong time and in the wrong place?i wish i could change the past, and maybe change the future before the worst happens

2005-04-10T20:55:00.000+08:00

It's like you're a drugIt's like you're a demon I can't face downIt's like I'm stuckIt's like I'm running from you all the time And I know I let you have all the powerIt's like the only company I seek is misery all around It's like your a leechSucking the life from meIt's like I can't breatheWithout you inside of me And I know I let you have all the powerAnd I realize I'm never gonna quit you

2005-04-09T21:27:00.000+08:00

finally.my hard work pays off.the first webskin ever that i designed from scratch.and it ain't half bad.feels good to accomplish something.been out the whole week, so i haven't had the time to do much.and im dead zonked.its not all bad, though.went bowling on thursday with kah wan, ernie and joel.had a great time, but i sucked.my score looked like a printout from a dead person's heart monitor

2005-04-05T14:30:00.000+08:00

please, you got to read this, right to the end.you know who im talking about, there's only one guy who i link to the word "love". Edis Crnchevic was so right about, "For better or worse, love never dies."im still not over you.i never was over you.i don't think i will ever be. i could stake my life on that.even when i slipped up, you were my only one and the only one i loved, all along.and yes,

2005-04-02T19:45:00.000+08:00

i just made a new blog [yes entirely out of my own impeccable genius] and it is now...wait for it...UP AND READY FOR VIEWING! yayyyy! [yes, yes, hold your applause please...]and since this is my blog and i can do whatever i like, i am going to compel everyone to read it by placing the link here.muahaha. and do go back every week or so, i come up with new, lame things every day.=)

2005-03-29T13:48:00.000+08:00

The RebelYou scored 56 Tara's Art points! You are The Rebel:Congratulations. I consider you to be the most down-to-earth type of person. You know what's going on in the world, you realize society's good sides and all of the flaws, but you still have a lot of fun. Unlike the Laid Back types, you have very strong opinions on things...But unlike the Mature types, you don't adhere yourself to a

2005-03-25T17:50:00.000+08:00

i've been wanting to get this off my chest for quite a while already...i've never found the words for it...i don't think i ever will find the words...but this is the closest i can get...i think.forget about fancy analogies and anecdotes or nice phrasing...i can't believe i hated you so much when you left.well, not really LEFT, you're still here, you always have been...we're still friends, and we

2005-03-17T12:13:00.000+08:00

a picture can say a thousand words.but it never means those thousand words speak the truth. a smile can hide years of pain.a second of laughter can hide months worth of tears.in snapshots people command you, "smile! im not wasting precious film on sour faces".so you pull a plastic one.but what goes on behind those smiles? the ones when nobody's looking. when you think nobody knows-- just because

2005-03-11T22:05:00.000+08:00

hurt. hate. lies. guilt. alone. confusion. loss. need. alone. rejected. outcast. alone. broken. searching. lost. trapped. alone. breakdown. escape. rustmetal. coldknife. warmskin. brace. shutyoureyes. presshard. harderharder. wince. feeling. cutawayfeeling. noemotion. oneway. cut. digin. drinkdeep. slashslashslash. slowdrips. purestred. paintingthefloor. slashslashslashslash. watchitfallaway.

2005-03-08T22:58:00.000+08:00

getting me back.the me that i used to be, so long ago....i took the first step when i made a promise to myself.and very soon i'll be taking the second.irreversible.the step down a road of no return.no going back, no second guessing.NO second chance.big risk factor.and with really everything to lose.like a bungee with a cord that you know has only three frayed strands left in it.am i sure?no.am i