31.7.05
another boring sunday.
filled with boring homework.
and my mom is being a bitch--not that it's something out of the ordinary. you'd think i'd be used to it by now.
--i'm actually looking forward to school.
well, not really, but looking forward to it more because 1) it means this shitty day is over, 2) i [alias, the pigeon] don't have to sit at home [alias, firing range] and get yelled [alias, repetitively shot down] at all day by my mom [alias, the lousy marksman]. too bad in this case the pigeon is painfully immortal.
also, 3) i get to see my boyfriend.
the advantages of a co-ed school. --it is my first time discovering it anyway. but the novelty of it will wear off after a while.
speaking of boyfriends, john's last post was somewhat bombastic.
see here.
"Due to the adamant insistence of numerous individuals pressuring me to publish a decent blog entry, as opposed to the substandard smatterings of text I have shamelessly passed off as entries in recent days, I shall now cerebrate with sobriety the words that, in a few minutes, will grace the electronic pages of my online diary." right. so maybe somewhat bombastic was an understatement.
and all that crap sparked off by me using the word "rectify" instead of "solve the problem".
--i wonder if the word "rectify" is a branch word of "rectal".
lol.
it sounds dirty that way.
anyway.
it's been a pretty good week.
a damn good week, if you cut my mom out of the picture.
28th marked the first month for john and i. [happy anniversary, darling! (: --for about the tenth time.]
31 days might'nt be that big a deal to the rest of the world, but i'm glad we made it. (:
went to sonicfest with john too, on the 28th and 30th.
the band sonicflood RAWKED!
planetshakers were okay, i guess, nothing much to go mad about--but sonicflood was more my type.
there was this band--surreal, they're not bad either.
more than not bad, actually.
i had an awwwesome time; definitely going next year.
and FOP is just round the corner--whoohoo!
funfunfun.
if heaven is a mix of sonicfest and FOP all day, i'm going to LOVE it.
hahaha.
i'm just typing this update to take a break from my homework.
they call it a term break, and load you up with assignments?
bleah.
have to build some bridge out of satay sticks and string that can support a brick [3.8kg].
i don't know how to build a frickin' bridge..!
man. thank God for a smart boyfriend in architecture.
-evil grin.
i still have to sketch three sketches, and i don't even have a bloody sketchbook.
aaand i have to do a case study for character development.
that wouldn't be so bad if i knew
what the case study was actually about...?!rrrrr.
this sucks.
i can't do this all by tomorrow...!
-panicks.
-gets a heart attack.
-dies and drops off her chair.
-gets placed in a coffin and buried.
-decomposes and rots into a liquid substance that seeps through the wood, into the groundwater and eventually evaporates into vapour, goes up in the sky to join the clouds, and soon rains down on humanity, HDB flats, open lakes, oceans and water reserve centres.
--imagine how many dead people you're drinking. (:
15:38
21.7.05
:(
She slams the front doorCause
she knows that I can't stand itGives me the fingerCause she knows I'm wrapped around itShe calls me sweetheartCause she knows it makes me weakShe stepped in dog poo
And
I'm still kissing her feetCan you believe how this girl treats me like a king?She took more than she gave to meI gave my love, I got an STD
If she comes home, I hope that she'll marry me
I wanna tell her that it's over nowHey look I'm arguing with myself
I think that
my girlfriend is bad for my mental healthNow I'm scaring myself
The rollercoaster makes me sickAnd she knows itThat's why she always insists that I go on itShe told her friends that I need therapy
I need a self-help group or a lobotomy
Can you believe how this girl treats me like a king?She took more than she gave to meI gave my love, I got an STD
If she comes home, I hope that she'll marry me
I wanna tell her that it's over nowHey look I'm arguing with myself
I think that my girlfriend is bad for my mental health
Now I'm really scaring myself.
-scaring myself; bowling for soup.
14:22
18.7.05
kristy can no longer telekinetically type with her amazingly powerful telekinetic powers of the mind because she has frozen, turned black and dropped off her chair due to extreme hypothermia.
and john has still not arrived.
16:54
kristy can no longer type because her fingers have frozen, turned black and dropped off from frostbite.
so she is sitting in front of her computer, stoning at it and typing by using her amazingly powerful telekinetic powers of the mind.
16:53
kristy can no longer twiddle her toes because they have frozen, turned black and dropped off due to frostbite.
so kristy has to entertain herself by typing stupid, lame posts on blogger.
16:52
kristy has gotten bored of twiddling her thumbs.
kristy has now switched to twiddling her toes.
kristy has given up on thinking of ways to murder john because she is suffering from brainfreeze resulting from exceedingly low temperatures.
16:49
kristy is bored.
kristy is sitting in her studio freezing to death while it's raining outside.
kristy is very bored.
kristy's classes have ended at 3.
kristy could have gone home at 3 but kristy has been waiting in a freezing studio for the past two hours.
kristy would like to be at home under her warm cozy blankets sleeping but she has to wait for john.
and kristy is very very bored.
kristy is only stupid enough to wait for john in a freezing studio because he is bringing her to eat tom yam later and visit the bear at action city which she loves with all her heart but is too broke to buy.
kristy wants bear.
and tom yam.
...
--kristy is dying of boredom.
kristy is now going to entertain herself by twiddling her thumbs and thinking up new ways to make john pay for making her wait in a freezing studio.
16:42
16.7.05
i look behind me from time to time to see how far i've come--
and everytime i look back; inevitably, i see you.
i see everything we went through together.
i see how far we came together.
i remember all the times we had; i have only good memories of you. i've already forgotten the bad.
sometimes i miss the past.
but i'd never trade it for my present.
there's so much i don't understand; but someday we both will. because everything has a reason; and every why will have an answer, one day...
i know i've moved on. but you'll never be just another guy in the pages of my history.
you'll always be my brother and my best friend.
so this is for you.
close your eyes so you don't feel them;
they don't need to see you cry.
i can't promise i will heal you;
but if you want to, i will try.
sing a summer serenade,
the past is gone;we've been betrayed, it's true.
someone said the truth will out
i believe without a doubt, in you.
you were there for summer dreaming, and you gave me what i need.
and i hope you'll find your freedom, for eternity.you were there for summer dreaming,
and you are a friend indeed.
and i know you'll find your freedom,eventually,
for eternity.
10:39
15.7.05
haven't updated in forever.
seeing as i have two hours on my hands because i woke up at 6am to reach school at 8am for a class that got cancelled last minute; [grrr.] i'll sit here in front of my computer and complain and complain and complain.
i've drank 3 cups of coffee in the 1 hour i've been here and i'm still not awake.
my project is going slow and we are NOT gonna make it on time.
i've been fighting a lot with my boyfriend recently.
the flu virus seems intent on taking over my body.
bleah. life sucks.
actually i can't even be bothered to blog.
words do not sum up my state of despair.
check back later.
11:38
6.7.05
you cried.
right in front of me.
i can't forget what you said yesterday.
"things like how uncertain our future is; how we gonna get to uni overseas, what we gonna be when we grow up. but i just thought, whatever it is, i wanna spend it with you...and i...well...i cried."
"they were tears of gladness. because i knew i got you to spend my future with...well...and i saw you beside me and it kinda set it off..."
"all along i wanted you to be the girl i'd spend my life with..."
"in any storms you face in the future, come hide in my arms and i will fight them for you..."
and, "i'll always be your guy."
when i saw those tears come down something broke inside me.
you don't know how much i wanted to hold you, wipe away your tears and promise you forever.
but forever is a dangerous thing sometimes, and so unsure.
thank you for letting me see you cry.
thanks for trusting me with that, and trusting me with your heart.
i won't let you down.
how could you be so dumb as to think i'd leave you after what i promised?
and so soon?
to run after some new guy only a week into this--i might've been unfaithful before but i'm not THAT bad.
if i leave i have so much to lose.
do you really think i'd give you so much of me if i wasn't serious about you?
i'm sorry i made you mad, but really--how could you be so stupid...?!
you've should've known better than to believe me when i said i'm leaving for real--i thought you knew me better than that.
we're gonna make it God, you and me.
and when we do i'm gonna call up all the people who said we couldn't and yell down the phone, "i TOLD you so."
and sixty years later i'm gonna call them up again and yell the same thing.
we'll prove them wrong.
we'll be okay.
It seems like yesterday when I said "I do",
And after all this time my heart still burns for you.
If you don't know by now that you're my only one--Take a look inside me and watch my heartstrings come undone.I know I promised you forever;Cause there's no stronger word I can use.To reassure you
when the storm is raging outsideYou're my safest place to hide. You see colors no one else can see,
In every breath you hear a symphony.
You understand me like nobody can--I feel like my soul unfolding like a flower blooming.
When this whole world gets too crazy
And there's nowhere left to go,
I know you give me sanctuary.You're the only truth I know,You're the road back home. Can you see me? Here I am.
I need you like I needed you then--When I feel like giving up,I climb inside your heart I still find;You're my safest place to hide.safest place to hide; backstreet boys.
08:56
4.7.05
i can't believe my parents actually allowed it.
like, wow.
but they said they don't think we can stay together--we've got to prove them wrong.
you promised me you'd stay.
promises can be broken, and if you break yours, i won't be surprised.
but i trust you.
so take what you need, because i can't hold my breath. and say what you feel, because i got nothing left.
...i made a promise to myself last night. im gonna keep it if it's wrong or right. don't change a thing, as perfect as you are... time has a way; time is all i've got.
and if my heart should shatter watching you? that'd be one less thing i'd have to prove. and if i lose it all, there'll be nothing left to lose--and
i would take the fall; because knowing you are out there breathing...it's so wonderful. it's a chance i'd take even if i break it, if i lose it all.
let's just not
ever think about this ending.
let's take it like we got all the time in the world, because we do.
this will work out.it'll be okay.
close your eyes,
make a wish that this could last forever.if only you could stay with me now--tell me what it is that keeps us from each other.
take my hand, take my life; just
don't take forever.
and
let me feel your pain kept inside;
there's gotta be a way for you and i, together.cause it's coming to get me; you're under my skin.
no,
i can't let you go. you're a part of me now; caught by the taste of your kiss.
and
i don't wanna know the reason why i can't stay forever like this--now i'm climbing the walls; because
i miss you.
10:46